Happy 4th Birthday!

I don't know why but having a 4 year old makes me feel old... But I was looking forward to Bailey's birthday and dreaming up what I wanted to do since March! I knew since we would be in Cedar and I would be a month away from having a baby that going to visit her grave this year was out of the question, so I was inspired when one of my friends and a fellow angel mommy had cleaned up headstones at her cemetary. So we headed over to the Cedar City cemetary after church to find it so beautiful and full of freshly placed flowers. This sight made me happy, to see such love and care taken to remember all of Heavenly Father's children. We decided to just walk around and look at the headstones, there were several families who burried several very small children, it made me so grateful for my little miracles.
My Mom was so kind to take flowers to Bailey's grave today also, so she wasn't neglected.
Last night Craig and I blew up and hung a bundle of balloons from our light in the dining room and we got it all ready for a party!

I was so excited for Cooper to wake up and see it! He was so excited after he saw it he came up stairs (I usually lay in bed Sundays till breakfast is ready ,Im spoiled) and said mommy come down stairs it's Bailey's birthday! It was just so precious! It is so nice to have a special day to really celebrate our little angel, we ofcourse think of her every single day, but it's just nice to give her a party.

I made her a yummy strawberry cake!

I think one of the most fun things we did was fly a "wish lantern" for her! It was so much fun, and so beautiful to watch it fly up to heaven.
This year I feel like I have made some huge strides in my healing. I have been so very blessed to have felt the atonement working so strongly in my life. There are still some rough days, but absolutely many many more good than bad, and I know that's how she would want me to feel. It's amazing to feel such a heavy weight lifted and to really feel peace and joy again. Through the incredible trial of losing a precious little baby our family has been blessed more than we could have ever imagined. We're so lucky to know that she is so happy where she is, and I truely know that she knew her plan before she came to this earth. I know it would have been hard for her, but she knew and our Heavenly Father knew that this was her plan and the plan for our eternal family. I know that while I cannot hold my precious little girl here on this earth that our Savior holds her tight for me in heaven. Happy Birthday my baby girl!